je l'aime beaucoup

being old

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 22:57:40 GMT

me this morning:

"i have waited my entire life to be old, hating childhood, hating public school, hating other kids, and now i'm almost 18 and i'm fat and i can't put my leg behind my head anymore. this is so dumb."

ahh, youth.

yay

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 22:05:22 GMT

I just wanted to show off my new reggicon.

News on the Home Front

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 20:11:03 GMT

That is the color of my poop. I'm not kidding, or exaggerating. I shat bright green this morning, and I even showed Shane because I was so freaked out. After some necessary internet research and the discovery of poopreport.com, food dye Blue #5 mixes with bile to make "brilliant green" poo. And it just so happens that a day or two ago, I ate an entire pint of Baskin Robbins' new blue-tastic flavor of ice cream, which is really really blue. Which means it probably has Blue #5 in it. So next time you shit bright green, you will know why.

In other news, we have Milkshakes! She and Pete are sort of getting along, but sort of not. They're both happy, though. I still don't have a job, and I'm aiming to get my navel pierced on Monday. And, I've started playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, and it's lots of fun c:

If anyone wants to come over, hang out, do crafts, go to Shipwreck beads, make bread or any other baking thing, anything, CALL ME. I am lonely during the day (not so much anymore with Milkshakes), and sometimes I like being alone, but sometimes I just want to hang out! That's kind of what I was trying to get away from at my dad's house, feeling lonely and not being able to do anything about it. But now I am on a bus line. And I can do whatever I want. I'm free, look at me, freedom in high fidelity (free na-na-na-na-na-na-na).

Yeah. 3605612210. EDITED because THAT is my phone number, and what I put there before was my dad's. :|

Life

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 20:16:26 GMT

Wow. I'm so overwhelmed right now.

New hero

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:58:57 GMT

Celia Rivenbark. Oh my god.

Excerpt from her column about iPhones:

"The funniest thing I read during the recent iPhone opening-day hysteria was that, at one California store, the folks who had waited in line for nearly 24 hours happily allowed Apple deity Steve Jobs to cut in line to buy two of his own phones.

"Dude, are you kidding me? If I'd been camping out getting all stinky and hungry waiting to give this guy's company $600 FOR A PHONE, I'd say, 'No cuts, loser; I've got the physical imprint of a webbed chair carved into my thighs for probably the next 10 years so, like I said, back of the line.'

"She looked at me with a mix of pity and frustration. I imagined it was the same expression worn by Orville and Wilbur Wright when they were greeted with crowds wearing 'Steam Locomotives Rock!' T-shirts wherever they went."

WEIRD/FUNNY vs. COOL/LAME

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 23:41:13 GMT

WEIRD
That woman I was going to work with at Staffmark hasn't been at her office any of the days I've been near there.

FUNNY
I tripped getting on the bus, and some black guy laughed at me.

WEIRD
Some dude called me "honey" after a grueling argument/discussion about god.

FUNNY
Not only did I yell "ZOSIA?!" at some girl who looked like Zosia but had a mohawk (thus, the question mark and exclamation point) and she was most definitely not Zosia, I stopped and stared through tinted windows at a driver of a blue SUV because I thought it was Shane. It was not Shane.

WEIRD
A dude asked me if my haircolor was natural. It's fucking red, man! No one's hair like this is natural!

FUNNY
I asked a guy if he had a pen I could use, and he handed me a pen with deoderant on the end of it. I said, "I can use this one?" He looked at it and said, "Uhh... Here's a different one."

* * * *

COOL
There's a new record shop that also sells belt buckles, lighters, and flasks right next to Earth Magic. Must go!

LAME
I went to go apply at Archibald Sisters (I had a shpeal: "I am a bouncy, fun, eclectic, and thoroughly experienced Archibald Sisters shopper here to apply for the hopefully still open part-time position!") and the position was filled. :C

COOL
A higher-up employee of Archibald Sisters laughed when I said "Man.. I was really excited to knock your guys' socks off."

LAME
I gave money to some lady that asked me for change to help her with the bus, and then I realized she was pan-handling.

COOL
I got $200 for my paycheck!

LAME
A bird pooped near me.

Housewifely

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 14:44:43 GMT

I've had a few adventures since Wednesday evening, when I finally realized, "Wow. I'm going to be living on my own." Here's some.

1. Thawing frozen-solid ground beef is not as easy as it sounds. Even when you put it into the fridge a few hours before cooking the goulash sauce, it is still frozen solid a few hours later. You can call your dad to ask him how to unthaw frozen meat, and he'll tell you to microwave it on the "thaw" setting, but your grandma's microwave will be old and stupid, not having a "thaw" setting, and you will resort to "quick defrost." It will work fairly well, but the corners of your meat will cook, and you will have to throw them away. There will still be enough meat for your sauce, and when you cook it you will have to ask your boyfriend to press garlic because you forgot, and he'll get irritated with you because you want him to peel them, and he thinks that's difficult.
2. It takes 40 total minutes to open a bottle of wine. First, you find the fancy corkscrew contraption your grandma has in the top drawer to the left of the fridge. It already has a cork in it from the night before, so you take it off, and then screw it into the cork in the new wine bottle. What you don't know is the secret way to use the device that your grandma touts to be so easy. You will spend 30 minutes fumbling with the fucking thing, taking breaks to cook stuff and mumble to yourself about how stupid it is. Then, miraculously, the bottle opener part will catch on the rim of the wine bottle, and make it increasingly easy to simply press down on the handle and remove the cork. However, by now you have corkscrewed the thing twice, it is weak, and it will break in half twice before you actually get the damn thing out. You will pour wine to let it breathe, but even an hour later it will still feel like vodka going down your throat, and you will not drink the whole glass. Your boyfriend will like it, though.
3. You feel very proud when your boyfriend likes the home-cooked meal you have prepared from scratch and without a recipe.
4. Your grandma's alarm clock will go off in the morning, and it will take you ten to fifteen minutes of button-pushing to figure out how to turn the damn thing off. Who said old people are technologically-impaired?
5. After you call your grandma to ask her where the colander is, you will yell once you've turned the phone off, saying, "That's a ridiculous place to put a colander! It belongs in THIS cabinet now!"

Still, God has not tryed to communicate with me through the toilet seat yet. I'm a little disappointed.

We're going to visit Jason and Phyllis (and Jacob!!!!!!) tonight. I'm going to cut Phyllis a spray of fancy lavendar to hang on her wall. Yay!

Also, I've started drinking coffee. Mind you, with a bunch of milk and sugar in it, but still coffee. I can't believe I think it tastes good, but I make just enough for Shane to have a cup and me to have half a cup. Weird.

Decidedly

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 20:42:17 GMT

I am going to get a Zune. I was previously planning on buying an iPod Video as my "splurge" or "I-just-got-9,000-dollars" item, but I've decided I like the Zune much better. For someone who doesn't listen to podcasts very often (other than Major Nelson, who's Microsoft, so he offers a Zune version), who likes especially pretty gadgets, and am mostly interested in an easy user interface, the Zune looks like the best choice for me. Plus this means I don't have to endorse Apple, I don't have to fuck around with iTunes anymore, and I can sync up my Zune to Shane's Xbox. Yeah!

In other news, Shane and I are officially living in Jo's house, and I even made dinner last night, and coffee for the man this morning. I got my handyman on by putting some strings on the gate so you can open it from the outside, and I'm planning on painting the medicine cabinet. But first I must take a shower.

Right after I update my layout.

Happy birthday, America!

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:02:28 GMT

3rd of July

Cons:

Fireworks display was not on dock

Fireworks display was not even on raft 30 ft. from dock

Fireworks display was way out on barge past Boston Harbor in Puget Sound

Fireworks display was 8 MINUTES LONG. T_T

Millions of cars and idiot people running around Boston Harbor Rd.

Had to take back roads to get home

Pros:

At grandma Willa's

Got to see family and introduce them to Shane

Got to see Pierce and Cole (my baby cousins)

Could smoke

Had a good time

4th of July

Cons:

Many drunken idiots

Fuck bees

Asshole with bird-scaring gun shooting large bangs at random times

Same asshole with dry ice bombs in plastic pop bottles

Same asshole possibly doing shrooms in my yard

Many fireworks exploding on the ground due to flukes, duds thrown in the fire, and Jim throwing lit shells in front of him in the yard

Back/neck hurt after laying on the ground on a blanket

Weird drunk lady gave me lecture about quitting smoking after she bummed Shane a Lucky Strike unfiltered

Garry called me retarded for asking him not to make fun of Shane

Shane was in a kind of bad mood until we talked it out

Fatty meat

Vern was passed out for the first half of the party

A tube fell over, and a shell flew to the front of the house and exploded, right in front of Dante

Pros:

Drunken idiots are funny

Buck

[shell blows up on ground] "Pretend you're a bird in the sky. That's how close it would be." -Jim

[empty "finale pack" thrown on bonfire by Jim, someone shouts "oh no"] "Yeah, it's called 'Trash' and it's really impressive." -Jim

Shane was in a great mood after we talked it out

The cute girl with the great hair brought her newborn baby and it had huge headphones on it so it couldn't hear a thing!

Ian is hilarious

Awesome fireworks!!

The burning man was really cool

I got to do Roman Candles

Brandi and Narissa were lighting girly fireworks and laughing about it

One of the bird-scaring gunshots exploded at exactly the right time, and it made the firework display AWESOME

Burn pile was contained, and nothing was burned down

I got to sleep in

Some guy came parading into our yard wearing a reflective vest and riding an electric wheelchair

I had a super time. I got to hang out with Shane and Tas, Teresa and Garry, and my family, and a bunch of people I don't know. Good food, good company, and kick-ass fireworks.

Happy birthday, America!

(Also, Terri was wearing a shirt that said "Bush" but the s was one half of a Nazi symbol. I thought that was cool.)

I'm going to go help Jo move the boat today, and hopefully Shane and I will be house-sitting for her while she cruises from mid-July until early September. It'll be really fun.

Two polls, since I can do polls!

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 16:48:13 GMT

First of all, I've been dallying in iconmaking for a while now. I'm going to post a few of my favorites, and ask if I should either make my own community, or join another to get my icons out there.







<-- that one is from a base by gaffe

EDIT: (by the way, on the top row, the first two are stock, the third is suicide girls, and the fourth is bjork. 2nd row: first two amelie, third xtina, fourth suicide girls. 3rd row: contest stock from stockphotochall, last three are regina spektor. 4th row is reg too.)

View Poll: #1014088

Secondly, this is entirely freaky, and I'm ashamed to admit this fact, and I have to find out if it's just me or if everyone is like this.

View Poll: #1014089

Polls are cool!

Oh my god, I didn't know we had USB Dongle Goblins in Washington.

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 14:03:59 GMT

I got a job interview!

EEG on July 11th...

Be still, my beating USB Dongle Goblin.

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 22:56:59 GMT

Isn't it strange how time progresses, how we lose and make friends, how things that seemed so important are now hard to remember? I looked through my yearbooks for a Sutherland, and I found tiny relics of my high school past tucked away on pages and in handwriting.

I found the entry in my 9th grade yearbook by Abby. She was a very good friend, and I miss our friendship a lot. I haven't spoken to her in a very long time, and I wonder if she reads the entries in her yearbook and reminisces too.

I found Molly's pictures, looking more and more evil as time progressed. Whether this is because of what I associated her with before and after we were friends, or because of the shape of her eyebrows, I don't know. I now try to dredge up those horrible feelings of that relationship, first the friendship, then fighting, and then being enemies. It felt so huge at the time, a very close friend suddenly becoming an enemy. And now? I don't feel nearly as resentful as I did. Now, I simply regret not having better handled my friendships at that time in my life. And, of course, every bit of every lost friendship has made me grow stronger. It is Molly who told me one of the most life-changing pieces of advice I've ever heard, that I am the most important person in my life. I doubt I will ever forget our somewhat twisted history, but I think I will remember it fondly, if only as a learning experience.

I found Matt's handwriting in my 10th grade yearbook, something I highly doubt I will ever look back on fondly. I may have learned many things from our relationship, but that doesn't change my resentment for his behavior, or mine, for that matter. It is phenomenal how quickly feelings can change for someone, and how quickly two people can enjoy each other or abandon each other. I wonder what it was in that month that was so different from any other month of my life.

I found both notes written by Keelan, who I had a huge crush on. In my 9th grade yearbook, I realized I had asked him out to a movie with me, and in my 10th grade yearbook, I realized I had decided he was just a really attractive asshole. Now, I sit and try to recollect the "big" moments of those years when I pined over god knows how many boys, the times when I asked for phone numbers, the times when I mustered the courage to compliment them, the times when I had no courage and ended up hurt or embarrassed. I remember feeling like any one person meant the world to me. Now I feel like only one person means the world to me. Isn't it strange how life changes?

I found the repetitive entries by acquaintances all, the classic "you're so smart," comment. Many of the people who have written that phrase in my yearbook are very intelligent, very smart, go-getting people. It makes me wonder if it is my being smart that compels them to write that, or that I am not often afraid to speak my mind. I wonder how many incredibly smart people have felt impressed or inadequate simply because someone else was a loudmouth.

I've known these people for many years, some since elementary school, and by now, I know only a couple of them. One part of Running Start that I regret is my detachment from my friends, friends since 4th grade. Maybe not very good friends, but friends nonetheless. I wonder if anyone who stayed at Capital felt the same way about me, and I wonder how different my experience would have been had I opted to stay at Capital full time.

Life goes on, like always. Every year I am farther away from my mental image of a blonde girl, slow-motion walking through a remodeled house, watching children play with microscopes and styrofoam, surveying her first school. I am farther away from my mental image of a horrendously awkward fourth grader, coming to public school for the first time, having a huge crush on Connor Schmidt, rolling up elastic belted satin skirts, and putting on fire engine-red lipstick. I am farther away from my mental images of 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, each drastically different from the others. Sixth grade with my fancy glasses that didn't fit, the hair that I never brushed, my awful psychedelic blouses, and a craving for knowledge. Seventh grade, with my brand new short hair, just learning what my appearance meant to the world, and challenging authority at every turn. Eighth grade, my helplessly backwards plight against conformity, while I frittered my time away by straightening my hair, gossiping, and kicking someone's butt. I am farther away even from my mental image of 9th grade, tiny and overachieving, so immersed in adoration for teenage boys, and completely overwhelmed by my family life. Tenth grade, learning what it meant to be myself, meeting Stephani and my Russian/evil accents, and chopping off my hair. Finally eleventh grade, I am closer to myself than ever, still embarrassed of this hidden me I've discovered, hiding it from everyone but the closest of friends, but embracing it just the same. At last, I am here and now, still fathoms away from who I was before I met Shane.

I am fully willing to dedicate the rest of my life to being comfortable in my skin, to remembering the good times and talking through the bad times, and living life for what it is: a really long roller coaster ride. It's great to remember and enjoy who I've been and what I've been through, but it's still greater to know that I've moved on from those parts of my life, and I've been actively working to improve my standard of living, bettering my experiences every single day.

Life is good.

How did you know I wanted a bleedy and bruised inner arm?

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 21:02:42 GMT

MRIs are scary. Here is a list of things that can happen at the hospital when you get an MRI.

1. Your filling is OK. Even though it is metal. It's OK. Really. OK.
2. You might get told you will wear headphones, but they won't put music on them until you ask, and then it will be The Mountain, a.k.a. the radio station for commercials.
3. After turning on the radio for you, they will try to talk to you, even though you are wearing headphones, listening to music, and are having your brain photographed, meaning you can't really hear them, neither are you supposed to talk back.
4. When they inject you with the contrast stuff, the lady will fuck up the first time, and have to do it again, and it will hurt way more than an IV or getting your blood drawn. Plus, after you take off the stupid sticky ace bandage, you'll have a painful pair of bruisey, lumpy, sore needle pricks on the inside of your elbow.
5. It's frickin' boring! And they put your head in a cage! I almost wish I had claustrophobia so I could have been sedated for the damn thing.

Is that a USB Dongle Goblin in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 15:04:32 GMT

Linkage:

Life imitates art: Moon to be equipped with frickin lasers courtesy of Engadget

Tiny games in altoid tins courtesy of Joystiq

Another Will Ferrel plus baby video courtesy of Funny or Die

Outtakes from the baby courtesy of Funny or Die

Pixies have pointy heads.

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 22:12:00 GMT

Sunday dinners? Gooood.
Naps at 4:00 p.m.? Baaaaad.
Mary Kay make-up? Gooood.
Out $145? Baaaad.

The most beautiful USB Dongle Goblin of all.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 23:30:02 GMT

1. Dyed my hair today, with those L'Oreal Colour Experte boxes. So now I have highlights, and really red hair. It's cool.
2. As you may have noticed, I have become obsessed with the USB Dongle Goblin. Check it, yo.
3. Now knitting a sweater.
4. I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL.

I'm really scatterbrained right now.

Looks more like a... USB Dongle Goblin

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 23:55:01 GMT

Best video ever, and it only takes 5 seconds to watch.

My Great-Grandma Willa

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 16:56:13 GMT

Click.

Also, Wilcox Hall at University of Washington was named after my great-great grandpa Roscoe Wilcox, and houses the engineering department at UW.

Cool.

yeah

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 07:28:41 GMT

I am.

12:39, where am I?

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 07:42:51 GMT

Not asleep.

Made some new icons for myself, plus some new banners that will probably be posted if I remember to do so. Mostly of Regina. My tummy hurts, I'm forgetful, I've been having headaches. Shane's asleep, and grinding his teeth.

I just remembered I am not a high school student!

...*headdesk*

EDIT:
or perhaps *headpillow*

Gage, meet Inky.

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 01:26:20 GMT

Inky is all mine! I've been taking care of her for the past two and a half days. It doesn't sound like a lot, but boy is it ever. It's a lot of work, especially potty training. Poop on my sweater is totally not cool.

She's very good at going outside, but we need to learn about not going inside. She's only pooped in my room once, so that's nice, but she's peed in here more, and that's almost worse because it's harder to find the pee spot, since it doesn't really look wet on my floor. I feel like I have to watch her all the time, just to make sure she doesn't pee everywhere.

Shane and I have found a very nice apartment at Capitol Crossing, over on Chestnut street near the Capitol (surprise surprise). It's really nice, only $700 a month, we've met the manager, and it's a downstairs floor, which is great for taking Inky out.

However, my meeting with my possible employer was delayed since she had pregnancy compliations, and wasn't at work that day. I feel really bad for her, and I'm going to send her an e-mail, but I'm a little miffed that she couldn't bother to tell anyone she'd be out of the office.

Eight things you should know if you decide to get a pug puppy:

1. Nighttime in room is no fun if you mind poop on your floor. (A) Poop on the floor will be there if you let her run around, and (B) if you don't let her run around and keep her in a cage next to your bed, she will try to jump on your bed for twenty minutes before retreating to a sitting position and whining for twenty more minutes. After you get three hours of sleep, then she will start whining again, she will pee in the cage, you will take her out to go potty, she won't have to, and then you will put her in the laundry room so you can sleep for five more hours.
2. Putting puppies in the laundry room is okay, but make sure that your heating vent isn't full of puppy food and puppy shit. If it is, try your hardest to convince your dad to help you clean it out, especially since hose water is very cold in your pajamas at 11 in the morning, and it is very hard to get a completely full heater vent empty of the crap that's been sitting in it for however long.
3. Cleaning out the laundry room can be fun, but remember to ignore the pee-stained trim, because trying to wash it even with Simple Green will make the paint come off. Paint is probably toxic, especially paint that's been liquidated with multipurpose cleaning materials.
4. Your puppy will not know her name, how to sit, how to go potty in designated places, or what the following phrases mean: "Get your toy," "Stop acting like a retard," "Come back here you freak," and "Stop wiggling." Also, treats mean nothing until they know it is in your hand and tastes good. You might as well be saying "Come and let me shank you," they are that excited about eating the treat you are offering for pooping in the lawn instead of on your carpet.
5. She will not know that cats do not like dogs, and when she gets near a cat, even if it is the best cat in the world (e.g. Milkshakes), the cat will puff up like a raccoon, and your puppy will obliviously rampage around like a retard, scaring the cat to bits.
6. New toys, bad. Old toys, good. Clothing, better. Comforters, the best.
7. Your new puppy will eat/drink like they've been malnourished all of the four months they've been alive. Your dad will tell you not to worry, and to feed her when you don't mind her peeing.
8. She will like daddy (i.e. Shane) more than you, because daddy doesn't spend three hours using his arm to push your puppy off of the bed so she will please go to bed so mommy can get rest.

All in all, puppy-raising is an enlightening experience.

Pythy, baby. Shut up.

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 20:16:36 GMT

Lots of things... getting MRI and EEG for neurologist. Spot where blood was drawn is all bruisy. Mouth hurts. Etc.

I have so much crap in my room! Half of the clothing I own I don't wear, and my entire floor is covered in stuff. Plus I have boxes of crap in the basement from my mom's house, and there's a glass of what used to be a strawberry banana smoothie on my desk, and it smells horrid.

Listy list:

1. My nails are awful
2. I keep having bad dreams :C
3. My puppy is still very happy
4. I officially hate Costco and all its employees
5. I accidentally stole a potion from the Mages Guild in Bruma and got kicked out, so now I have to collect 20 samples of two different flower things, and it's really irritating. (Oblivion, nerd.)
6. I cut myself some bangs, they are short like before
7. Le sigh

morphine m.d.

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 19:25:07 GMT

mouth hurts, legs hurt, don't want to type coherent sentences. thus, list.

1. wednesday, ER. horribly tummy pain, shivering while hot and without fever, uncontrollable shaking.
2. thursday, school. nap entire day, barely walk, go home, sleep.
3. friday, oral surgery. tooth is taken out, can't eat crunchy foods, not supposed to smoke. sleep + shane.
4. saturday, drs appt to follow up on ER visit. reflexes in knees ridiculously exaggerated, can't stand up straight with eyes closed, referred to neurologist. go out to oyster house for prom with shane, walk around on boardwalk, get really tired, go home.
5. sunday, have three projects to finish before monday, feel like shit, am out of tylenol 3, my legs aren't working too well, and my mouth is in pain.
6. i am very scared of what's wrong with me.

wish me healthy vibes.

great quote

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 14:09:15 GMT

Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men.
Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this gay thing yet, have you?
Blanche: There must be homosexuals who date women.
Sophia: Yeah, they're called lesbians.

yay

Wed, 30 May 2007 19:07:38 GMT

for
1. shane
2. new mood theme
3. new userpics
4. new header
5. almost done with school
6. i look hot today

C: